Cradle of Life
by LeaO'Neill
Summary: Jack and Nicki's lives may be changed forever


The Cradle Of Life

By Lea O'Neill

Rating: Probably R

Category: Angst/ Drama/ Romance

Pairing: Jack/Other

Season: Any

Spoilers: Any episodes where a healing device is used.  
Summary: Nicki finds out something she thought was impossible just might not be. But is she ready to tell Jack?

Disclaimer: All SG1 characters belong to their creators, Gekko film corp, their producers, writers, etcs. Any resemblance to other characters, real or fictional is not intended)

* * *

SG-1 had just returned from a mission. They disembarked the Stargate tired and dirty. PX5-722 had been a windy, dessert planet. For Sam and Daniel, it had been an "archeological wonder." For Jack, it had just been like living inside a tornado.  
  
Jack brushed sand off his cap as he walked down the ramp in the gate room.  
  
General Hammond waited for them.  
  
Daniel had brought back several samples of a previously unknown form of writing on an unusual stone tablet. Sam had samples of a mineral that appeared to use sunlight to generate energy. Both of them were psyched to get into their respective labs and study their finds.  
  
Teal'c was just glad to be out of the blowing dirt.  
"General," Jack greeted. "I'm requesting to defer briefing until we have time to wash the sand out of every crevice."  
  
Hammond smiled. "Well, from the looks of you, I'd say that was a good idea. Briefing for PX5-722 will be deferred until tomorrow at 0800."  
  
Jack figured he was the only one who'd be going straight home to clean up. He knew the two 'brainiacs' would be too engulfed in their work and Teal'c had stated a need for a good meal.  
  
After their weapons were stowed, Jack paused in the locker room long enough to empty his boots of sand and toss his fatigue jacket into his locker.  
  
Then he headed for her office.  
  
The worst thing about being off world, besides the damn climate changes, now, for Jack, was missing Nicki.  
  
Major Walker was in her office up at NORAD, deep into a report from the Pentagon on Homeland safety and what new procedures were going to go into effect at NORAD, and therefore SGC. She was designing a class to be given ASAP to all personnel.  
  
Jack stood in the door, but Nicki was concentrating on the papers in front of her. He finally cleared his throat.  
She looked up. "Hey you!" she said surprised. Her face beamed once she saw who it was. She had to fight off the urge to tackle him.  
  
"I didn't know you were back," she said, keeping herself in her chair.  
  
"Just got in." Nicki looked him over from head to toe. "Yeah, I see that. You look a little…"  
  
"Filthy?" Jack offered.  
She nodded.  
"Yeah, I'm on my way out now. Grab a shower, see if I can get all the sand outta my ears.  
  
She offered him a smile. "Well, I'd love to join you, but I've got to finish reading these briefings."  
  
Jack shrugged. "Well, after that I'm up for about a 12 hour nap."

"I could bring pizza later?" Nicki suggested, keeping her voice low.  
  
"Sounds like heaven. See ya." He gave her a wink before turning to go.  
She hadn't seen Jack in almost a week. What she wanted to do was run and kiss and hug him. But what she got were his eyes, burning up her body with his lust for her. And that would have to suffice for now. Until she was off duty.

Nicole was cleaning off her desk for the day, more than ready to leave the mountain. She wanted to get the pizza and get home to Jack ASAP, if not sooner.  
  
Teal'c rapped on her open door just as she was getting her things together.  
  
"Teal'c, hi," she greeted with a smile. She enjoyed the company of the Jaffa warrior and most of the time, she was fascinated to talk with him. She had taught him how to ride a bike and how to make chocolate chip cookies.  
  
"Major Walker," he greeted in return, offering a slight bow. "I require some brief assistance."  
  
Nicki silently sighed. She knew she should have gotten out of here sooner.  
  
"Sure. What can I help you with?"  
  
"I would like to complete my study of the 'old west' weapons. I am in need of more reading materials."  
  
Nicki smiled. Before the team had left, Nicki had given Teal'c a book on Antique Guns, one of her collecting hobbies.  
  
He handed her the illustrated volume back that she had given him.  
"I don't know if I have anything else here…" she said, looking through her shelves. "I know I've got more at home."  
  
"If you do not, then I would also like to study on ancient aircraft."

"That I've got." Nicki found a book on the Wright Brothers and handed it to Teal'c. "I'll bring in the other gun book tomorrow."  
  
Teal'c bowed his head in appreciation. "Thank you Major Walker he said in his calm, deep voice.  
  
Teal'c took the book.  
  
Nicole stood up again to leave and that's when the lights went out. Everything became suddenly blurry and the next thing she knew, her knees were crumpling and the floor was rushing up to meet her.  
  
When Nicole came to, she was in the infirmary. Dr Fraiser was standing over her measuring her vital signs. Teal'c looked on with concern.  
  
"What…?" she began, her vision still a little foggy.  
  
"You fainted," Janet told her friend. "Teal'c brought you down here."  
  
"Thanks," Nicki told Teal'c. He gave a slight nod. "I don't know what happened," she said to Dr Fraiser. "Low blood sugar maybe."  
  
"Why don't you let me be the doctor." "I will return to my quarters now," Teal'c said. "Be well Major Walker." "Thank you Teal'c," Janet said as the big man left.  
  
"I'm sure it's nothing serious," Nicki persisted, as Janet prepared to draw blood.  
  
"Oh, sure. Lets see, you just recovered from two gunshot wound less then a year months ago. You were attacked, beaten. You're recovering from a dependence on pain pills, you spend most of your time here, especially when a certain Colonel is off world, I can barely get you to eat. If nothing else, you're suffering from exhaustion."  
  
Nicole didn't protest as Janet inserted the needle into her arm.  
  
"Now, I'm going to run your blood and give you a through exam."  
  
It was quite some time later. Nicki hadn't called Jack, figuring he'd just worry if she told him about this episode, and sure that he was probably asleep anyway. She'd gotten dressed after Dr Fraiser finished her physical and was sitting on the side of the exam table, waiting to leave. Janet had made her promise she wouldn't go anywhere until she had all the test results back.  
  
Janet walked back in, heels clicking on the tile. Her face was non descript.  
  
"Well, I'm fine right? Maybe a little anemic, but-"  
  
"Nicki, it's a little more then that," Janet said seriously.  
  
Nicole didn't speak. She waited for Janet.  
  
"You're right about the anemic part. But there's something else. I'm not sure how it happened or how to say it…Nicki, you're pregnant."  
  
Nicole shook her head. "That's impossible Janet. Your test must be expired. With my injuries from the bombing-"

"Nicki, I know all that. Now, as improbable as it was, I ran the test twice. Your Hcg levels are three times normal level."  
  
"Janet, I only have one partially functioning ovary and half of my uterus was removed."

"Well, there's one sure way to prove to you that I'm right. Lay back down."  
  
Nicki lay on the table while Janet moved some instruments around. Nicki knew she was preparing to do an ultrasound, so she pulled up her shirt to expose her abdomen with it's long scar running from the top of her thigh to the bottom of her ribs.  
  
Janet applied cool conductive gel to Nicole's skin and then placed the device over her abdomen.  
  
"Oh my God," Nicki exclaimed as soon as Janet had the device in place. She could see her still mangled internal organs, but along with them was a tiny form with distinctive head, arms and legs, maybe one or two inches in length crowded into her small womb.  
  
"I'd say you're about seven, maybe eight weeks along."  
  
"Janet, I can't carry a baby," Nicole said, panic in her voice.  
  
"Everything in there is held together with staples. When it gets bigger-" she trailed off. She knew that Janet knew as well what would happen.  
  
"Your uterus could rupture and you could bleed to death," Janet finished in no uncertain terms.  
  
Janet turned off the machine and wiped off Nicole's abdomen. She adjusted her clothing and sat up. She was still in shock.  
  
"What am I going to do?" she asked, her voice catching. She hadn't even started to consider Jack yet.

"The options are…limited," Janet said, her voice full of sympathy for her friend.  
Nicole stood up. She had to get out of here. She had to think.  
  
"I have to go." Janet laid a hand on Nicole's arm. "It might be better if you didn't tell him," she suggested.  
  
Nicole knew that was a good suggestion. But she didn't know if she could live with it.  
"I…I can perform the procedure here, but I wouldn't want to wait too long," Janet said, not enjoying what she was having to tell her friend.  
  
Nicole nodded. She felt like she was in a trance. "I'll call you tomorrow."  
  
Nicki drove around for a while. She was scared and angry and confused. She knew she could no more face Jack then she could face a firing squad. She knew she couldn't keep this from him. But then she would have to tell him that there was no way things could turn out right. She knew her options: have the abortion right away or wait until she ruptured and possibly died. She had been fixing people in one way or another her whole life. Yet there was no way she could fix herself. But then she had to consider why this had happened when seven different Navel surgeons had told her she would be unable to conceive. If it wasn't meant to be, why had it?  
  
She vaguely remembered going home and to her room, but by morning she had blocked out the part where she lay on her bed, still clothed, and cried her self to sleep.

* * *

Jack awoke when the mid morning sun hit him in the eyes. He stretched. A long hot shower had made him clean as well as soothed his aching muscles. He figured he'd lie down for a while to wait on Nicole and that pizza. But of course as exhausted as he was, he fell right to sleep. And nothing woke him until…he glanced at the clock. It was after ten in the morning.  
  
He got up and looked around. There was no sign that Nicki had been there. Strange, that she hadn't come over like she promised.  
  
He picked up the phone and dialed her office number. He was rewarded with her voice mail.  
  
He called the main com center at command headquarters to have her paged.  
"Major Walker is not in today sir," was the crisp reply of the ever-efficient communications operator.  
Jack hung up. Now he was getting worried. He dialed Nicki's home.  
Five rings and he got her machine.  
"Nicki, pick up!" he demanded. Nothing.  
  
Jack threw on jeans and a tee shirt and pulled on his shoes. Without bothering to tie them, he grabbed his keys and bounded out the front door.  
  
He drove the short distance to her house. Her Mustang was in the drive.  
  
He went to the door and banged. After tiring of that in less than a minute, he used the key on his own ring to open the front door. His heart was racing and he was almost in a cold sweat dread of what he might find. He knew she'd fought with the pain and the urge to kill the pain with drugs and sometimes liquor, sometimes both. He thought she'd been off them for many months, but the fear was always there.  
  
"Nicki!" he yelled as he came in the door. There was no answer.  
  
He scouted the kitchen and backyard beyond it, the turned toward the bedroom. He went down the hall to the closed door.  
  
"Nicki!" he called again, before opening it.  
  
His eyes scanned the dim room. All the curtains were drawn.  
  
There, in a corner, she sat on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest. Jack moved in closer.  
  
"Nicki?" he said, softer now, his face full f concern.  
  
He could tell she had not showered, her makeup from yesterday was smeared on her face and her hair was still up, what strands of it were not falling down around her face. She was wearing nothing but an old tee shirt.  
  
Jack had no idea what was happening. He lowered himself down to a crouch beside her. He could see on closer inspection that she had been crying.  
  
"Nicole," he tried. She finally looked up enough to make eye contact.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked softly.  
  
"You need to leave Jack," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  
  
He shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere. Are you okay?"  
  
"I'll be fine, but you have to go."

"Why?" he asked, still totally confused.  
  
"I don't want to see you anymore."  
  
"What?" he asked blankly. "Nicki, what's going on?"  
  
"I can't be with you anymore Jack. Please leave."  
  
"I think I need to call Janet," he said.  
  
"No! You need to go!" she shot. She abruptly took off the engagement ring she wore on her left hand and pressed it into his.  
Jack stared at the ring, then at Nicki. Whatever she was so upset about, he knew she wasn't kidding about it.  
  
Jack stood up, hands on his hips. What ever was going on, he was not going to get any answers this way. He could see that his being there was upsetting her more.  
  
"Alright, fine. I'll go. But I'm not going to leave you here alone like this." He walked to the phone and dialed first Janet, but was told she was in meetings all morning. Then he called Sam.  
  
"Morning sir," she said, from the lab.  
  
"Carter, I need a favor. Can you go check on Major Walker? She's…not doing too well, and I think she might need someone to talk to." Sam was surprised by his words. She wondered if they'd had a fight.  
Sam was torn between her duties at the lab and her loyalty to Jack.  
"Uh, I guess I can go over in about fifteen minutes?"

"That'd be fine. Thanks Carter." Nicki stared at him after he'd hung up.  
  
Jack put up his hands. "I'm going," he said. "But we have to talk sometime. And if you won't talk to me, maybe you'll talk to Sam."  
  
Jack walked to the dresser then. He'd been with Nicole long enough to know where she kept her service weapon. He certainly didn't need any more repeats of horrors from the past. He took the .44 pistol with him and walked out.

Samantha Carter arrived at Nicole Walker's house in less than 20 minutes. She noticed the front door had been left ajar, so she let herself in. She had no idea that Jack was stationed around the corner of the house, making sure it was only Carter who let herself in.  
  
Sam found Nicole in not much better of a state then Jack had. She'd moved from the floor to sit cross-legged on the bed  
  
Sam knocked on the bedroom door and went inside.  
  
"Nicole?"  
  
"Hi Sam," Nicki said, from her place on the unmade bed.  
  
"Uh, Jack asked me to come over. Are you okay? I mean, is everything okay?"  
  
Nicole gave her a flat smile. "No," she said.  
  
"Um, can I do anything?" Sam asked, not sure now exactly what Jack wanted her to do here.  
  
And that's when Nicole broke down, tears streaming from her eyes, her body racked with sobs.  
  
Sam hurried over and sat down by her. All she could do was offer her shoulder to cry on until the other woman had calmed down some.  
  
Finally, after some time, Sam handed Nicole a box of tissue from the nightstand and the other woman cleaned her face and blew her nose.  
"Okay, lets get out of this dungeon," Sam said, practically leading Nicki from her room into the much brighter kitchen.  
"I'm going to make us some tea," Sam announced as Nicki sat down at the table. Sam busied herself finding tea and putting on the kettle.  
  
After she'd poured hot water into their cups, she too sat down.  
  
"Now, lets start from the beginning, okay?"  
  
Nicole nodded, knowing she had to confide in someone. Someone who wasn't just concerned about her health.  
  
"Jack and I …" she didn't know where to start.  
Sam nodded. "You guys had a fight?" she guessed.  
  
Nicole shook her head. "No. Just the opposite in fact. I think maybe I better tell you what happened to me on 9/11."  
  
She then told Sam of her position with the Special Air Services task force and that she had been on special assignment at the Pentagon when the terrorist attack hit on 9/11 of 2001. She described her injuries in detail.  
"God, how awful!" Sam said when she was finished.  
  
"Anyway, I resolved myself to the fact that I would never have children. I gave myself dozens of good reasons. I was alone anyway, I was getting too old, my job would never let me be a good parent…on and on."  
  
Sam thought that maybe Jack had told Nicki he wanted a child. She wasn't prepared for the bomb that came next.  
"Anyway, until I met Jack, I hadn't been able to love anyone like that."  
  
Sam smiled. She knew how much Jack had changed, for the better, since he'd met Nicki. "I think that the Colonel has had similar feelings."  
  
"Well, it's pretty much a mute point now."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I told him this morning I can't see him anymore."  
  
Sam was now confused. "But why?"  
  
"Because I can't put him through the hell."

"Of knowing you can't have children?"  
  
Nicki shook her head. "Of knowing that I'm pregnant. And of knowing that my injuries won't let me keep the baby. His baby."  
  
Sam put a hand to her mouth.  
  
The two women sat in silence for a while. Sam was trying to absorb all Nicki had told her.  
  
Finally, Sam bit her lip. She had always been given to reason and thinking things out. "I think…I think maybe I know someone who can help you."  
  
Nicki shook her head. "Help me how? There's really nothing anyone can do. Doctors have told me. I've seen the damage."  
  
"You know by your practices. But because of the Stargate, there are…other alternatives."  
  
Nicki frowned. She had read briefs on many of SG-1's missions, but she wasn't sure she understood what Sam was trying to say.  
  
"My father, Jacob, accepted a Tok'ra symbiote. The Tok'ra are far more advanced then humans. There…there might be a chance he could do something. There's a healing device. I've seen it work what others would call miracles."  
  
"You mean, he might be able to repair the damage? It might allow me to carry a child to term?" Sam nodded. That's what she was thinking.  
  
Nicki was suddenly hopeful. "How? When? Sam, please-"  
  
Sam nodded. "I can contact him. We would have to be off world so Jack wouldn't find out."  
  
"Sam, I'll do anything." The other woman pleaded.  
  
"Give me a day or two to set it up."  
  
When Sam finally left Nicole's it took Jack all of about seven seconds to meet her at her car.  
  
"All right, what's going on?" he asked, exasperated.

"Sir, it's personal."

"Personal hell! Carter, I don't know if you've had your eyes checked recently, but in case you haven't, I'm in love with that woman!"  
  
Sam nodded. "I know sir."  
  
"And she's telling me she wants to call it quits. I don't understand!" Jack hated having to spill some of his feelings to his teammate, no matter how close a friend she was.  
  
"If you just give her a few days, I think maybe it will resolve itself. Why don't you go fishing?"  
  
Jack looked baffled. "Fishing? Aw for crying out loud, Carter. Is that all you have to offer?" '

"For now, sir, yes. But please, give it some time. She'll come around."  
  
And with that, Sam Carter got into her car and left. Jack stood, like a fool in the street for a moment, before sighing, shoving his hands in his pockets and reluctantly heading for his own house. It was much colder and lonelier then he remembered it.

* * *

Carter got permission to take Daniel and Nicole to P3X-191. It was a nice quiet planet. She used the excuse that Major Walker needed more 'gate time' as she put it, and Daniel had been wanting to take some samples.  
  
"It's not necessarily a mission sir," she told General Hammond. "Just a chance for me to show Major Walker some things about the gate, and for her to have a better off world experience then the last few times."  
  
The General nodded, recalling several missions Walker had been along that had gone seriously wrong. "Kind of like getting back on a horse?" he asked.  
  
Carter nodded. "Exactly, sir."  
  
"Very well. Permission granted."  
  
Jacob Carter used the ring transporter to bring Nicole aboard his ship. He greeted her with a smile. Nicole was still very apprehensive about what was happening.  
  
"My daughter tells me that doing this would be for the good of the whole SG-1 team," he said with a grin. Nicole had to shrug. "I hope so."  
  
He gestured for her to sit. He showed her the healing device, which was a handheld object.  
  
"I'm not sure how well this will work. Your injuries are quite old," he said, his Tok'ra symbiote Selmak speaking now. "There are no guarantees."  
  
Nicki nodded. "I understand. But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try."

"Very well." With that, Jacob proceeded.

* * *

Jack O'Neill knew something was up. He was too old and too experienced not to smell a rat.  
  
He stalked into General Hammond's office looking sullen."Colonel," Hammond greeted him. "I thought Major Carter said you were fishing."

"Oh she did, did she? And where might Major Carter be, General?"

"P3X-191."

"What's she doing there?"  
  
"Well, Dr Jackson wanted to take some more samples and Major Walker wanted less of a stressful off world experience. Major Carter had some things she wanted to show Major Walker."

"Major Walker went with them?" he asked, incredulous. Now he was sure Carter and Nicki were up to something.  
  
Hammond nodded. "Is there a problem?"  
  
Jack shook his head. "No sir. I'm going to fix the problem when they get back."

* * *

When Daniel, Sam and Nicki returned through the gate Jack was waiting for them, a stern look on his face.  
  
"Hi kids," he said.  
  
Daniel fiddled with his 'geological samples', no more then a few rocks he'd found. He'd gone with Carter because she'd asked him to, but he had no idea what she and Walker were up to. Now he was sure he'd gotten in way over his head.  
  
But Jack's glare was directed at the two Majors and Daniel managed to sneak off.  
"Colonel," Nicole greeted him.  
  
"Major. I trust your trip went well?"  
  
"I hope so," she said, softly.  
  
"Sir, I'd love to discuss the new developments on 191," Carter cut in. She took Jack's elbow and led him away.  
  
"Carter, what-" he began.  
  
"Sir, Major Walker would like for you to meet her in the infirmary at 1630. She can't very well have a discussion here, right sir?"  
  
Jack pursed his lips. "Fine. But I'm not done dealing with you either," he said.  
  
Sam didn't take his threats too seriously.  
  
Janet, who'd been made privy to Sam's plan, waited anxiously in the sick bay.  
  
Nicole dashed in. Janet was almost as nervous as her patient.  
  
She had the Doppler ultrasound set up so all Nicole had to do was unbutton her fatigue pants after she hopped up on the exam table.  
  
"I'm terrified Janet," she confessed.  
  
"I know," the doctor said, not expressing her fears.  
  
She began the ultrasound.  
  
Nicole looked on with her trained eyes.  
  
"Oh my-" Janet began, but was struck too speechless to continue. Where there had been trauma, there was no sign. Where surgical intervention had been taken to save Nicole's life by removing parts of her damaged organs, there were now internal organs as perfect as before the accident.  
  
Nicole saw too. Tears flooded her eyes.  
  
Janet found the small life carried inside Nicole. A strong heart, still too small to be heard, could be seen beating.  
  
And then Jack walked in. He was early. He usually was.  
  
He looked from Nicole to Janet and then to the ultrasound monitor screen. Even to an untrained eye, on the precision 3-D machine, Jack knew what he was seeing.  
  
His mouth opened, but no words came out. He ventured closer.  
  
Nicki had tears streaming down her cheeks, but her expression was happy.  
  
Janet too was on the verge of tears. She hurriedly froze the image on the screen and removed the sensor. She wiped off Nicki's abdomen and then quietly excused herself.  
Jack stayed, staring at the screen. "Is…is that what I think it is?"  
  
Nicki nodded, sitting up. "I didn't want to tell you like this."  
  
Jack shook his head, not understanding. "I though you couldn't have kids. I thought there was some kind of damage from the bombing."

"There was," she said softly. "That's why I was so upset the day you found me. I…I found out the evening before. I was pregnant, even though it was close to impossible. But because of the injuries, I knew the baby wouldn't survive. That's why I…pushed you away," she said, choking on her words. "I didn't want you to have to deal with the loss."  
  
"Dammit, Nicki," he said softly, not able to believe she had gone through such pain by herself. "You should have told me."  
  
"Well I did tell Sam. That's when she told me about her father. And the healing device. I…I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't at least tried. He didn't know if it would work. But now," she gestured to the screen. "Everything's like it was."  
  
Jack suddenly grasped the situation. "You're pregnant," he said stating this.  
  
Nicki nodded.  
  
"You're okay, the kid's okay?"  
  
She nodded again.  
"And…I'm going to be a father." He said this very slowly, very deliberately.  
  
With tears running down her face, she nodded once more.  
  
Jack took her in his arms then. He was too choked up to say anything.  
  
And he didn't want her to see the tears in his own eyes.  
  
After he had held her for a moment, he took her left hand. "Now you're definitely going to be needing this back." He replaced the ring on her finger.  
  
FIN


End file.
